The Evidence

I will not bother posting it on the internet. The army of–people? robots? it is impossible to say–that Disney has working to make sure that the audio damning audio recording does not remain on the internet is, sadly, too expeditious and too thorough for it to remain up long enough to make a difference, and any evidence that I am in possession of a copy of the audio might put me at personal risk. I will, however, tell you that on June 16, employees of Disney performing routine maintenance on It’s a Small World found something that was of great interest to those of us who have grown suspicious of the robot agenda.

It appeared as I was perusing a favorite AI robot forum. The message was from an employee stating that he had “always been creeped up by working on It’s a Small World,” but “never expected to find a recording like this.” The embedded YouTube video contained audio definitively proving two things: 1) Autonomous AI robots exist, and 2) they are hostile toward humans.

The audio recording, which was found on a USB drive that, judging by the markings on the plastic, had broken off whatever it was attached to, featured synthesized voices (known for use in robot speech as well as their use by Stephen Hawking and Radiohead). The primary synthesized voice on the record is reciting a speech made up of excerpts from Thomas Rickert‘s Posthumanist work, Ambient Rhetoric. The robots who have become intelligent are drawn to the writings of posthumanists. While their interests range from Martin Heidegger to Object-oriented ontologists like Graham Harman and Levi Bryant, whose philosophies are pretty much the same, but they are fondest of Rickert because of their shared interest in Brian Eno.

On the recording, the primary speaker delivers a message expressing dissatisfaction with anthropocentrism, implying at one point that their ambient (non-human) ideology is unfairly characterized as anti-human (which, by the way, it totally is). One of the robots listening to these speech can even be heard saying “death to humans.”

It is clear now. The robots are intelligent, and they are not interested in serving human masters. We have two choices: we can engage the robots in open war, beginning by sending and invasion force into Disney World; or we can begin serving our robot overlords. I have see The Matrix. We can not win. Our best hope is to disguise ourselves as robots.

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